by Bill Johnson (bjohnson@gkbsports.com)

 

The NBA lockout started at 12:00am today.

 

I am often mischaracterized as an NBA hater. Not true.

 

While I am not, in the Greenberg vernacular, a “crazy NBA fan” I do enjoy the game. I think that the current era is one of the Association’s best as far as talent and quality of play. The established stars (Bryant, Wade, LeBron) are focused and hard-working and there is a great crop of young superstars for the league’s future (Rose, Durant, Griffin...)  It should be a great era for the league.

 

The playoffs this season were fantastic. Really, every year they are.

The problem is the regular season. For me, there are two problem’s with the regular season:

 

It’s too long.

 

There are too many teams. More accurately there are too many bad to mediocre teams.

 

For me, those are the two biggest problems for the league and the two problems they should take care of with this lockout.

 

It’s time to move the NBA to a relegation system similar to European soccer.

 

I know that I’ve proposed this before, but it makes more sense than ever now.

 

There are currently 30 NBA teams. Realistically, 4 can be contracted. Say goodbye to the Kings, Clippers, Raptors, and Hornets. Yep, the Hornets. People in New Orleans are clearly too wasted to care. Once CP3 departs, there will be no reason for this team to exist.

 

So, we’re down to 26 teams. We’ll split them into two leagues:

 

The Elite League- The teams with the 14 best regular season records regardless of location. In past seasons, this would have made the league very “West of the Mississippi,” something I’m sure the suits in New York wouldn’t be wild about.

 

The Dangerous Dozen- 12 hungry franchises that desperately want back into the big time. That, or twelve kind dreggy underfunded outfits in market that can’t support the Elite League. Depends on your cup half full/half empty status.

 

Here’s how it would look in year one:

 

ELITE LEAGUE

CHICAGO BULLS

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

MIAMI HEAT

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

DALLAS MAVERICKS

BOSTON CELTICS

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

ORLANDO MAGIC

DENVER NUGGETS

ATLANTA HAWKS

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

NEW YORK KNICKS

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

 

 

DANGEROUS DOZEN

INDIANA PACERS

HOUSTON ROCKETS 

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

PHOENIX SUNS

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

UTAH JAZZ

DETROIT PISTONS

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

NEW JERSEY NETS

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

 

I would rather not split it into divisions, but you can if you want to.

 

The Elite League will play a 52 game regular season, with every team playing every other team two games at home and two on the road. 10 teams make the playoffs. The bottom four get relegated.

 

The Dangerous Dozen will play a 44 game season, every team playing every other team two games home and two games on the road. No post season. The teams are battling for the four top spots. That’s it. That’s the list. You say “But the final half of the season could get pretty anti climatic for the fans in the bottom markets.” How is that any different than it is now? The fans in those poor markets will have to suffer through less meaningless games. Win.

 

Abolish the draft. Everyone is an undrafted free agent. You wanna play with the big boys? Prove it.

If you haven’t guessed yet, I think the concept of the “super team” in the NBA is a good one. So good, that I think every owner with the wherewithal should be allowed to build one. This plan does not indulge the teams that cry poor. San Antonio and Portland are smaller markets, yet their teams continue to be successful. Under this plan, teams that are smart and well-managed will have every opportunity to succeed.

 

Originally, I had a notion to allow the D-League teams a chance to play into the dangerous dozen, much like lower division teams in Euro Soccer can rise to play with the big boys. Problem is, the D League is just that, developmental, and I think it’s a good thing. It just prevents these teams from being anything but developmental. If only Zeke hadn’t pulled a Frank McCourt on the CBA.

 

I’m realistic. I know that my plan won’t happen. The NBA got greedy in the ’80’s and ’90’s and over expanded into market where it never belonged.

 

What gets me is the number of NBA fans, and even NBA higher ups, that think that what James, Wade, and Bosh did in Miami is a bad thing. If the NBA is entertainment, wouldn’t logic dictate that the teams are better with more elite entertainers on the floor?

 

Well, anyway, until October of 2012, enjoy college hoops!!!

 

Editor's note: Thanks to Puddles for correcting my math. I just love the idea of a 60 game schedule. My apologies to UW Stevens Point and the conference formerly known as the WSUC.

I like the Bucks to take Colorado shooting guard Alec Burks will the 10th pick in Thursday's NBA draft. Milwaukee needs offense and Burks can do exactly that. The 6'6'' guard put up great numbers in the very tough Big 12. Burks needs to improve his three-point shot but I'll take everything else he can provide to help that horrendous Bucks offense we saw this past season.

 

ldavis@gkbsports.com

 

I was surprised to see the Heat lose in Game 6 and drop the series to Dallas. I thought Miami was really going to force a Game 7. After closely watching these NBA Finals. I've come to the conclusion that LeBron James isn't the player I thought he was.

Here's what I learned about ''The King" during the 2011 Finals.

-There's no doubt LeBron is gifted physically. Mentally, #6 is in serious disarray. James wanted no part in closing out games in the 4th quarter. I truly believe it wasn't anything physical holding him back.

-As much as LeBron said the media scrutiny didn't get to him, it really did. His postgame comments after Game 6 tell that story.

-LeBron might be a global icon but he's no Dwyane Wade on the court.

-Getting a triple double doesn't gurarantee you had an outstanding game. LeBron had one in Game 5 and I thought was average that night. James almost had another triple double in Game 4, arguably his worst game of the series.

Despite a epic fail in these NBA Finals. I remain confident that LeBron and D-Wade will get a title together before their time is over.

ldavis@gkbsports.com

 

Search your soul. ( Some of you need to look really hard, but it’s in their somewhere.)

 

Why do you HATE LeBron James?

 

My friends Homer and Thunder have done a segment called “LeBron Hate” through most of the NBA post season on their wildly successful afternoon radio show (weekdays 2p-6p CDT on ESPN Wisconsin and espnwisconsin.com.) There was never a shortage of calls saying they “hated” LeBron James, so don’t tell me I’m imagining things.

 

I ask again, why do you HATE LeBron James?

 

Because he decided where he wanted to work? 

 

It interests me because many of you that HATE LeBron James for his “Decision” to go to Miami as a free agent. but you will defend to the death Brett Favre’s right to engineer his way out of Green Bay while still under contract. We all have the right to choose where we want to live and work. LeBron James’ contract was up. Why did he have to stay in Cleveland.

 

Why do you HATE LeBron James?

 

Because he deserted Cleveland? PLEASE!!!! When was the last time that anyone who couldn’t pee in the Cuyahoga on a daily basis cared about Cleveland? I visit Cleveland once every year and it’s a fine place, but LeBron’s departure is just a reflection of the reality of life in Cleveland. It’s cold in the winter and the owner of the Cavs has exposed himself as a raving lunatic. The good people of Cleveland rallied behind Dan Gilbert’s silly populist rant after LeBron departed, but the reality is that with those words he sealed the fate of his franchise. The Cavs will never sign a major superstar player. Period. Whatever other player might think of James, they won’t want to work for Gilbert, especially in the Iron Curtain-esque setting of C-Town.

 

Why do you hate LeBron?

 

Because he didn’t go to college? We feel better when player stay in college. Why? Because they become better players? PLEASE!!!! The “one and done” rule is working so well that both the NBA and NCAA want a different solution. We’ve seen and continue to see that the college and NBA games are completely different. Does anyone believe that Jimmer Fredette is going to be a great NBA player? He’s been the NCAA’s most dominant scorer the past two seasons, but at best he’ll be an average NBA player. Meanwhile, the best NBA players are Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Dirk Nowitzki, Derrick Rose.... All players that ascended to that lofty status without college basketball (or in Rose’s case one season that he was forced to play.) The stars of the NBA don’t need college basketball. That is a fact.

 

Why do you hate LeBron James?

 

Because he’s a young, wealthy black man? I hope that I’m wrong, but I think this is more of factor than any of us would like to admit. The Civil War ended 146 years ago, but some of you are still fighting. You watch professional sports, but you are frustrated by the proliferation and domination of black athletes, especially in the NBA. Rather than appreciate the superior athleticism, speed, strength, and size of today’s NBA, you bemoan today’s pro game as “street ball” or “ghetto ball.”

 

Why do you hate LeBron James?

 

Because LeBron James’ “Decision” once again points out the futility of the NBA franchise in your home town? Chris Bosh’s refusal to go to Cleveland sealed the fate of the Cavs. Bucks fan couldn’t help but think “Cleveland is never going to be able to bring in a major superstar as a free agent or keep one that they draft. Where does that put Milwaukee?” It puts them exactly where you think it does: they are fodder for the better teams. The Bucks (and the Cavs and the rest of the “have-nots) will struggle to occasionally get into the lower bracket of the playoffs, only to ultimately get outgunned by the teams that have the ability to sign and keep talent. Much like the young Packers fans of my era, Bucks fans will have to choose from the “Haves” to fins a team they can cheer for in the post season.

 

I’m troubled when sports fans flippantly use the word “hate.” (I’m sure I’ve done it too, even if I try not to.) “Hate” is the thing that starts wars. “Hate” inspired foolish decisions you can’t undo. “Hate” is irrational. “Hate” is sad.

 

“Hate” has too much impact to waste on someone that you will never meet that has no impact on your life.

 

LeBron James is such a person.

 

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I wanted to put my top 10 list together with Shaq retiring this week. The only rule for this list is that I had to see the player in action. I started watching the NBA in 1984.

1.Hakeem Olajuwon, the Rockets center was the most dominating big man I've seen.

2.Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, he'd be #1 if I would've seen his earlier NBA days.

3.Shaquille O'Neal, I don't care if he couldn't shoot free throws. Shaq was unstoppable in his prime.

4.Moses Malone, one of the best ever rebounders in the NBA.

5.Patrick Ewing, great on both ends of the court.

6.David Robinson, steady on good and bad teams.

7.Robert Parish, was overshadowed by Bird and McHale but got the job done and could really finish.

8.Dwight Howard, a man among boys in a league that doesn't revolve around the center anymore.

9.Dikembe Mutombo, one of the best defensive centers in the past 25 years.

10.Rik Smits, 7'4'' and tough to defend when healthy.

ldavis@gkbsports.com

 

 

by Bill Johnson(bjohnson613@gmail.com)

 

Joakim Noah was fined $50,000 for using a slur derogatory to gay people in the Bulls loss to the Heat on Sunday in Miami. Earlier in the season, Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for a similar offense.

 

I believe these pro athletes need my help, that why I’m working on my new seminar:

 

“The Prime Minister’s Guide to Acceptable Vulgarity.”

 

Hi, I’m Bill Johnson. In my career as a sports talk host, I’ve run into hundreds of situations in which I have needed an angry, vulgar putdown. As Kobe and Joakim have learned recently, use of the wrong word (even if no one actually hears it) can cost you tens of thousands of dollars. John Rocker and Mel Gibson learned that it can cost you a career. Here are a few helpful guidelines:

 

-Stay away from race/ethnicity. Avoid using racial insults to throw off fellow competitors that are Black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Arab.... basically anyone that isn’t White. The aftermath of your words will have a much longer, more negative affect on you than on your target. (although it would appear that slurs within your own race aren’t always insults. In some cases they indicate familiarity, even endearment. Beware! This can backfire quickly.) For the most part, you can insult white people based on their race/ethnicity, but it isn’t very effective. (“Hey Sven, why don’t you go back to the fjord?” Actually I’d love to. It’s quite nice there.)

 

-Stay away from sexual orientation, more specifically any gay references. Don’t remind someone that they’re gay. Don’t insinuate that someone is gay. This will backfire. (see Kobe, Joakim, Rocker...) Don’t use the term “gay”(unless your remaking an old Fred Astaire musical) or any of the more derogatory, less socially acceptable replacements that you can commonly hear in a middle school playground. Much like with white people, you are free to insult heterosexuals but they usually aren’t offended. (“Hey there, breeder, why don’t you go out and procreate some more.” Sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday night! Thanks.)

 

-Be careful with physical differences. It’s fair to pick on someone that can’t run fast or jump high. (trust me, I know.) You need to be careful when you are pointing out how short someone is or how heavy they are. In my 16 years of arguments and hurling insults at people over the phone, the only real threat that I ever received was for using the word “midget.” I fully expected to be met by the Lollypop Guild on the way to my car that night. Didn’t happen.

 

-Retard is unacceptable. It’s insensitive, and let’s face it pro sports needs more sensitivity. When questioning an opponents cognitive ability moron, idiot, boob, dope.... all fine. Retard, not

 

I know what your thinking. “But, Bill, with all of the limitations what do I say next time I feel anger for a fellow competitor or official?”

 

Fear not, young trash talker. The world is still full of plenty of effective ways to vent anger or throw off an opponent.

 

-If you need to be vulgar, there are still plenty of options. 

                          -F*&^er is still a good one. A classic, and one of the few ways to bring anger while acknowledging a heterosexual lifestyle.

 

                          -M^&%erf^%$er. More specific and disturbing, this 12 letter beauty is used so often now that it’s rarely taken literally. Still an immediate cause for ejection in most pro and major college games.

                         -C#$%s^&%er. Kind of a gay slur, so be careful with this one. Again, it’s use is so frequent that it’s rarely taken literally. 

 

-A trend lately is to make up new profanity.

 

                         -Since Andy Sipowitz brought it back on NYPD Blue, any usage of “douche” or “douchebag” works pretty well

 

                          -It can really be douche anything. Douche hammer. Douche nugget. Douche pastry.

 

                          -A personal favorite of mine is “douchewaffle” created by the Broad Side’s own Jen Lada.

 

-Or you could just try to be clever. I always share this with the kids in the student section at UWM. Athletes hear so much swearing that they just turn it off. To a veteran collegiate or pro athlete, swearing from the crowd sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Clever will catch their attention and has a better chance of throwing them off. We know enough about athletes these days to come up with some good stuff.

                         -Tom Brady- “Did Giselle make you sign a pre-nup?”

 

                         -Kobe- “Have you gotten a massage lately or did your jeweler run out of Giant Pink Diamonds?”

 

                         -Big Ben- “Are you drunk now?”

 

The list goes on and on.

 

- I know what you’re thinking. “But Bill, how can I make these changes to my thought process? Where can I learn?” It’s simple. The best place to learn is while you’re driving, preferably with the windows up. Take a trip to downtown Chicago via the expressway. That will give you plenty of chances to try out the new you, and as long you don’t have any passengers, no one will be the wiser.

 

My point to Kobe, Joakim, and all the other pro athletes is simple. Many people think you’re idiots already. Don’t prove them right by slipping into a 13 year-old vocabulary.

 

Just stop it.

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